Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Weigh Your Words (skip the scale)


Check out this episode!


When you're upset, do you tell yourself to look on the bright side?   If so, you may be making things worse instead of better.  

In this episode, Dr. Nina explains the ways you may be dismissing yourself and offers suggestions on how to respond differently to yourself and how to tolerate difficult emotions.


Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter or leave a rating and/or a comment on iTunes, so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.


Saturday, May 11, 2013

Baby, Baby


BABY YOURSELF!

Ever notice how attentive new mothers are to their babies? 

Recently my friend Heather came over with her new daughter.   When baby began to cry, Heather tried to figure out what was wrong.  Was the baby tired?  Hungry?  In need of a diaper change?  Did she just need to be held?

The baby was crying because she needed comfort.  As I watched Heather tend to her child, I reflected how nice it would be if people treated themselves with the same amount of interest and concern that they show for babies.    Those who struggle with disordered eating often are hostile to their most basic needs, whether for food, sleep, love, connection, or comfort.

Some mothers use food to meet every need.  If the baby cries, she may be tired, hungry, wet or just cranky, but the response is the same: she gets fed.

Imagine a baby's perspective. You’re tired and need a nap, so you cry.  Mom comes over right away, but instead of putting you down for a soothing rest, she provides a bottle.  You learn that your need for rest will be resolved with food.  You may even start to confuse the need for rest with hunger.  If this happens repeatedly, you may even start feeling hungry when you’re tired.

Do you recognize and meet your needs for soothing, for connection, rest, and so forth?  Or are you hostile to those needs, angry at "giving in" to hunger or using food to comfort and distract from difficult, upsetting feelings?

How were you comforted as a child?  What was helpful?  What was missing?


What can you do differently to "baby" yourself?  Recognizing and validating your needs is an important first step.


What do you need more of in your life?  Connection?  Recognition?  Love?  Time?  Rest?


Your needs and wants require validation and attention, not  condemnation.


Baby yourself, today and every day!


Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Starving For Love?



What are you hungry for right now?   Is it food... or do you have a deeper hunger, for something  emotionally fulfilling?  

Maybe what you truly hunger for is love and connection.  

In this episode, Dr. Nina explores the connection between relationships and emotional eating.  She identifies four different attachment styles and how they impact your relationship to food.

Check out this episode!



Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Five Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Diet (with words)



Listen now!!



























How do you talk to yourself?  Do you say mean things that you’d never say to a friend, partner, spouse or child?  If so, it’s affecting how you feel – and how you eat.  In this episode, Dr. Nina describes five ways you're sabotaging your diet, all having to do with the way you talk to yourself.

Check out this episode!


Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Differentiating Obesity from Binge Eating Disorder





I recently wrote a guest blog for The Weight Loss Show, Dubai.  Check it out (and check out the Weight Loss Show, too)!

Differentiating Obesity from Binge Eating Disorder: Four Things You Need To Know


WLS LogoAre you a Binge Eater? You’re not overweight, nor obese, so you couldn’t possibly suffer from Binge Eating Disorder. THINK AGAIN! For a long time, it has been thought that it is simply overweight and obese people who are the ones affected by Binge Eating Disorder.
WLS - Dr NinaHowever, The Weight Loss Show recently caught up with Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy.D., who is a psychoanalyst specialising in disordered eating, and she discussed with us how we need to differentiate Binge Eating Disorder from Obesity, and raise awareness on how this issue can affect everyone, no matter what their size. Here’s what Dr. Nina had to say.
Binge Eating Disorder (or BED) has made headlines ever since theDSM-V, the latest version of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (published May 2013), recognized it as a clinical eating disorder. But as strange as it may sound, bingeing isn’t really about weight.
My patient Mary is 100 pounds overweight and has tried to lose weight for years. In an effort to cut calories, she skips breakfast and lunch. She’s so hungry by the time she leaves work that she goes straight to the drive-through and eats fast food every night. Mary is obese (more than 20 percent above her ideal body weight) but she doesn’t have binge eating disorder.
Dani secretly eats 30 stalks of celery or a hug bag of carrots, a few times a week, sometimes followed by ice cream. She’s very ashamed of her behavior. Dani is a normal weight and she does suffer from binge eating disorder. How is this possible?
1.  If I’m overweight or obese, does that mean I have binge eating disorder?
The answer is… maybe, but not necessarily. Obesity is a physical condition that may result from many factors, including poor eating habits, heredity and culture.
Mary makes poor food choices, which why she is obese. Some people don’t have the time to cook nutritious food. They may not know what’s healthy and eat meals high in calories and fat. Others may be genetically prone to being at a heavier weight or may not get enough exercise. All these factors can cause obesity, but they aren’t indications of disordered eating.
Binge eating disorder, on the other hand, is a complex psychological condition. Men and women who struggle with bingeing use food to distract from painful or upsetting thoughts, emotions and conflicts. They may be obese, overweight, or even be within a normal weight range.
2.  What’s the difference between overeating and bingeing?
Overeating simply means, “eating to excess”. There are varied causes of overeating (many Americans overeat on Thanksgiving, for example) that generally have to do with food itself, not feelings. Binge eating disorder is a way of coping with difficult feelings by turning to food.
According to the DSM-V, binge eating disorder is characterized by the following:
  • Recurrent episodes of binge eating occurring at least once a week for three months
  • Eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short time frame (any two-hour period)
  • Lack of control over eating during the binge episode (feeling as if you can’t stop eating or can’t control what or how much you are eating)
Binge eating episodes are associated with three or more of the following:
  • Eating until feeling uncomfortably full
  • Eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry
  • Eating much more rapidly than normal
  • Eating alone out of embarrassment over quantity eaten
  • Feeling disgusted, depressed, ashamed, or guilty after overeating
For someone struggling with binge eating, the behavior with food expresses an underlying issue, conflict or problem. For Dani, bingeing on celery, carrots or ice cream was her way of managing difficult emotions. Bingeing feels like “the” problem, but it is actually a “symptom” of a deeper problem or conflict, such as these examples:
  • Loneliness – Food symbolically fills an internal emptiness
  • Needs & Wants – If you’re starving for love or hungry for affection, it can be easier to turn to food
  • Comfort – If you’re sad, anxious or upset and nobody is there to soothe you, food often does the trick
  • Distraction – Focusing on food or weight often distracts from other troubling emotions that you might feel towards people or about situations you can’t control
3. What can I do to overcome binge eating?
Recovering from binge eating disorder isn’t about your weight, nor is the number on the weighing scales the main indication of successful treatment. You can achieve a normal weight without changing the underlying conflicts that make you turn to food in the first place.
That is why diets don’t work. Diets deal with what and how much you are eating, rather than why you’re eating.
When you identify and work through the underlying conflicts and emotions that lead to bingeing, you’re less likely to turn to food.
For example, many people have a hard time expressing anger towards others, but find it easy to be mad at themselves for their weight. When they learn to identify and express those upset feelings towards others, they stop using food as way of turning that anger towards themselves.
4.  What resources are available to help with binge eating?
Bingeing can be a shameful and secretive behavior but there is help available.  You can learn to change your unhealthy, unhappy relationship to food and feel better.
BEDA – Binge Eating Disorder Association: www.bedaonline.com
Men Get Eating Disorders, Too: www.mengetedstoo.co.uk
Eating Disorder Hope: www.eatingdisorderhope.com/
Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy.D. is a psychoanalyst who specializes in disordered eating. Her podcast Win The Diet War is available on iTunes (named New & Notable the first week of release). Her award-winning blog, Make Peace With Food was named A Best Eating Disorder Blog of 2012 by Healthline and nominated as a Best Health Blog this year.
Follow Dr. Nina on Facebook and Twitter. Visit the website: www.winthedietwar.com.
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ABOUT THE WEIGHT LOSS SHOW

The Weight Loss Show is an annual event in Dubai, where anyone and everyone can come and find out about everything to do with weight loss, health, exercise, lifestyle, nutrition and much more. For two days, you can get involved in everything from outdoor yoga classes to nutrition seminars, and even speak directly to experts who can help you on your way to a healthier tomorrow. Throughout the year, we also provide up to date information on health and wellbeing via our Facebook Page, Twitter, and Weight Loss Show Blog. Check us out now to find out more about healthy living and keeping fit!



The Weight Loss Show: Facebook Twitter
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Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Starving For Love?


What are you hungry for right now?

Disordered eating can be an expression of an internal conflict about needs.  We all have basic human needs for love, attention, comfort, and so forth.  If those needs are not met, or not consistently met, people can feel humiliated about having needs.  That’s when “needs” are seen as “neediness” and experienced as something negative, to be avoided.

People struggling with anorexia resolve this conflict by restricting food, and often relationships.  The unconscious thought is:  “I don’t need anything, not food and not friends.”

People dealing with binge eating resolve this conflict by attaching all their needs to food.  They unconsciously believe:  “People can’t be trusted to meet my needs consistently so I will have a relationship with food, which is always available, always consistent and fills up my internal emptiness.”

Those struggling with bulimia combine the two strategies by expressing their needs by binging, and then purging their perceived neediness.  Their unconscious thought:  “I need so much, so I will binge.  But I hate that I have needs, so I will purge!”


What do you need more of in your life?



In what areas of your life do you feel deprived?


What’s it like to think about your own needs and wants?


When you can identify, work through and meet your underlying needs, you won't need disordered eating to express those needs and wants, or to distract from them.



Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.


Saturday, April 6, 2013

Don't "Should" On Yourself!



I'm on a mission to banish the word "should" from our vocabulary.  The word makes people feel bad about themselves and promotes shame, guilt and other difficult emotions.

Here's why:

Definition of "Should": To express obligation or duty; also used to express expectation, conditionality.


The way we speak to ourselves can directly influence the way we feel, which in turn can impact behavior. If you feel terrible about yourself, you might turn to (or from) food to comfort, soothe, or distract from the intolerable feeling.

When you relate to yourself in a kinder way, you will feel better and therefore need to turn to disordered eating as a way of coping.

How many times have you told yourself:

I should not do that.
I should not have eaten that.
I shouldn’t eat that.
I shouldn’t want that.
I should be better at this.
I should get a better job.
I should have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Even if you say, “I should be happy” it implies that you’re not as happy as you could be.

Often we speak to ourselves in second person, as if someone else is talking to us:

You shouldn't have said that.
You shouldn’t have eaten that.
You shouldn’t have done that.
You shouldn’t want that..
You should do better.
Whose voice does that sound like? Is it familiar?

The word “should” can cause us to direct anxiety, sadness, anger, and distress towards ourselves.Those feelings may be so powerful that we use disordered eating to cope.

Instead of “I/you should not do that” ask yourself: 

What do I want? What am I feeling? What’s going on with me right now?

Be interested in your thoughts/emotions rather than judgmental.

When you're self-critical, you feel bad.  When you respond to yourself with kindness and interest, when you soothe yourself with words, you're less likely to turn to or from food in order to comfort, numb or distract yourself from what's going on inside.



Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

"Like" me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter


Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Graphic by Talia Ellis, www.ellistic.net